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655 Posts
THANKS Moot. Looking forward to your improved patentable version....but in the meantime, I need to buy some juice.

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1 Posts
Thanks Paul - In contemplating my first ever oil change on my new 350 Transit RV I located this site. I read the first couple of pages and was sleeping on the prospect of creating a mess.
Last night I got the bright idea to puncture the oil filter so I returned to the Forum this AM and search for any other like-minded geniuses and found your post. "
Buoyed by your experience I will make a go of it but with an added "twist". Since this is my first time around I will first check how tight the filter was put on by loosening it a smidge before puncturing it. I had an experience in my 20's with a new-to-me car where the previous oil changer had used too much muscle to install the filter and I was forced to puncture the filter straight through from side to side and then use the screwdriver handle as if it were a T-handle wrench.
I don't want to discover a problem with the previous filter installation after I've disabled the vehicle by puncturing the filter.

33 Posts
I once got this sent to me in an email. Saved it and thought I'd share.

Oil Change instructions for Men :

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw
kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and
twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can
to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty
litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag
used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain
plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles
and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any
missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00 But you know the job was done right!

16 Posts
I've had many engines over the years that were just as bad or even worse.

Just be glad they haven't gone to the supremely irritating method of late model Toyota's - a replaceable cartridge that will make you wish for a spin on filter in any location.

On the 4.0L V6 you first unscrew a plug on the bottom of the plastic housing and insert a drain adapter that you have to have first put an appropriate size hose on...
Then you unscrew, often with some difficulty, a big plastic housing that takes a special socket to grasp properly- unlike a metal can filter that you don't care if you dent or crush it- this housing is used over and over so you better not damage it. Oh and if you bought a reasonably priced stamped sheet metal filter socket you'll find it slips and starts to round off the portion on that plastic housing it grips- so you'll eventually buy a much higher priced die cast aluminum filter socket.
After dropping the element out you have to replace a big (4"?) O-ring on that housing, and a smaller one on the drain plug.
Then you have to put it all back on being careful to not overtighten the plastic housing...which BTW you aren't likely to find at any autoparts store if you do mess it up.

Yep- give me a spin on filter in any spot or any orientation over that design.
And for the coup de grace the paper filter cartridge cost MORE than the same thing in a nice easy to swap metal can.
I have 2 Toyotas with the cartridge design. One has 280k miles and the other has 70k and never had an issue with it. I can do an oil change in my Sunday best clothes and not spill a drop. Not saying it's my favorite design but having a drain in the bottom is smart unlike our Transit oil drain plugs that are in the side of the pan draining horizontally or the transmission pans that have no drain plug at all. (Yay Ford!)

2,430 Posts
My worst: 5 Gallons of 180 degree motor oil into a plastic bucket, The bucket melted...

Big engines take a long time to drain the oil so you change the oil Hot, Into Steel buckets.
Cat 3412TT, 12 Cylinder, 18 Gallons of motor oil, Changed every 200 hours. (2 Weeks)
These engines often run at maximum rated horse power.
(50 Gallons of diesel fuel an hour, For 500 kilowatts of electricity)
121 - 131 of 131 Posts