This got me in stitches. Are you thorough? YES! Well done . . .
Where to start? What a bummer, is all I can say again . . .
In my personal opinion, it may be time for Mike Pardue to get familiar with the sound of your voice again, as he and Henry Curtis Ford need to help engineer a solution which works for you and your wife. He is your best point of contact, especially given your recommendation of him. You need an ally on your side, and Mike should be one of them.
[Edit -- it wouldn't hurt to keep the PI illusion alive here . . . ! ]
I would call him today, see where he is at about this SNAFU, and set up an appointment to meet in person with the Wagon and all your paperwork incl. Ford brochures. It would be reasonable to ask him to come to your house for this, or at least half-way. You could meet at the No Name Bar in Sausalito and have a pint of Anchor Steam! orton could meet you there, as he has done work for Anchor Steam, and lives in the northern Bay Area I believe. Maybe you will have to go to Petaluma, as the dealer should have the entire sales force see this in person. Any regional Ford people who can make it should also be there.
After you call Mike to set up an appt., I would call the best TV station consumer support reporter, and "get 5 on your side" or something like that. KRON? The Bay Area used to have great TV shows who would get in the face of dealers in situations like this. You may never go this route, but it would be good to have the threat of media exposure introduced very early into the discussions, not as a threat but a promise -- "you mess with my car, you face the consequences" kind of a deal . . .
Well, . . . . . now you got my juices flowing, so I will draw my brakes and see what Mike and the dealer come up with. A face-to-face meeting is very important, in my eyes, as all the phone calling in the world does not leave you with the paper trail you may need to construct. Email email email for that IMO, including confirmation of all verbal agreements made with Mike and the dealer. Nothing should be left to the nether world of "he said, she said . . . "
A final question -- assuming that Ford is not able to give you a new dash-mounted CD player, what would you accept as a solution, given that there is an Audio In jack available, and power nearby which you wisely ordered "just in case!"
How much of a rebate would it take to make you go away and be happy? $5,000? $10,000?
Edit -- PS -- A multi-CD player with wireless remote control, tucked in the back some place, is the route I was thinking of taking with my Wagon. Maybe this is a better solution for your sound needs, especially if the dealer or Ford can make you an offer you can't refuse?
PS2 -- sorry for my long post also, hard not to get worked up about this . . .