Emotional hills and valleys
The enthusiasm of building a camper out of a van burns so hot in the beginning.
I was so eager to do everything and it was a non-stop labor of love most of the way.
Every now and then I became daunted by what seemed like an endless list of things I had to do and a kind of discouragement would set in. One time I spent three days trying to get a three-pole switch set-up to work until finally throwing in the towel. I will never know why I couldn't make it work. I've done three pole stuff lots of times and I had diagrams to cover every configuration. All-in-all electrical stuff gave me the biggest fits.
Things that seemed so important as I was building make me wonder how I could have invested so much emotion into them now.
There were others who presented results of their work on the forum who made me feel like I was a putz by comparison to what I was accomplishing.
Other who made me feel sorry for them for how cumbersome their solutions to similar problems I faced seemed to be.
There are so many personalities that appear on the forum, almost always those who come across as caring and sometimes downright loving.
The regulars fade away, new people continually appear casting reflections of ourselves when we were new here.
Sometimes a guilt hangs over me because more and more I see what a privilege it is to be able to afford the experience of converting a camper van when so many people in the world can never hope for the prosperity it takes and also because driving a vehicle that produces so much greenhouse gas is becoming such a naughty thing to do.
As the drug addicted "homeless" spread like cancer across the land, stealth camping becomes increasingly less appreciated as a wholesome practice.
The joy of the freedom to be able to travel with your home on your back still makes it all worthwhile.
2017 Transit CV, MR LWB, 3.5 EB, LS 3.23, Silver Ingot, Lthr 10-pt, Al whls, HD alt, Trlr Tow